Things That Happen in the Chair

You could tell it was Mother's Day even before you got inside the church today. The parking lot was packed. Quite a few families were here early for that special Mother's Day Breakfast that is becoming a tradition at New Life Covenant. (Thanks Duayne & to all the fellows who pitched in.)

Once inside, the narthex was filled with conversation, and a table of flowers for Moms. And up front, there was an easy chair and other reminders of the special family message prepared for us this Sunday. Brad's voice rose above the din to welcome us as we quieted for the beginning of the service.

Important announcements included these:

Two from Norm... first, to get out and vote on Tuesday if you are from Grand Lake Township. There are important issues on the ballot. Second, Norm reminded us that next Saturday they will be burning the Halfrush home at 1:00 pm. This is all part of the Modest Home Makeover project. They will be at 25 East Orange Avenue, just off Arlington in the Central Entrance part of Duluth.

Pam shared that the Bethany Crisis Shelter has more needs than ever, but the economy has put a dent in contributions and they need supplies. Currently they serve 75-100 families monthly. Our church has helped, but the need for supplies is ongoing.

The introit led us into worship, followed by the offering, a Scripture reading by Cheryl Borndal (John 14:23-29) and a time of prayer.

Things That Happen in the Chair

"I love being a dad," Pastor Brad began. "I've always loved being a dad. I love the nursery. I love playpens and I love toys. I love stories and stuffed animals. And I love chairs like this one," he said, nodding to the central prop for today's message. "And I need to tell you upfront that anything I say here comes from a struggling, imperfect father. And anything of value I say here comes directly from the wisdom of Scripture."

The message focused on three things that happen in the chair.

1) Fears get expressed in the chair.
Becoming a parent causes all kinds of fears to emerge. Can I actually do this? Am I ready for this? What if the baby's not healthy? Can I afford this?

There are real costs associated with raising children. One survey indicated that 40% of all parents said, "If we had known then what we know now, we would not have started."

It's important to know the stakes of parenting. It's not like bringing home a puppy where if things don't work out you can send it to a farm in Iowa.

Parenting forces you to be honest with yourself, with others and with God. It's a mix of excitement and anxiety, and ultimately forces you to say, "God, I need your help."

God's answer is found in Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Fears can overwhelm. Peace comes when Christ displaces fear.

2) Dreams also get expressed in chairs like this.
What will he be like? What will she become? These are thoughts all parents share.

Brad stressed that we want to be careful, though, about imposing our dreams on our children. They need to dream their own dreams, and not be forced to live out ours. Help your kids discover who they want to be.

Ultimately, it is character that counts though. Success is not in what they do, but in who they are becoming. "I share my dreams for my kids in this chair," he said. "I don't really care what they do with their lives. I want them to love God. I want them to do well in school and I'd love for them to be honor students, but what's going to make me the most proud is that they honor God. And that they love people the way Jesus loves people."

3) Nurturing takes place in this chair.
You have to be in the chair for nurturing to take place. And when it comes to giving guidance, you ave to be home for that to happen.

One problem today is that the American Dream has become a nightmare. We have houses, but do we have homes?

Brad mentioned the role of discipline in helping children grow. You need to discipline while they are young enough to learn.

Our focus should be on positives though, not negatives. And it should be a rule of conduct for all that we treat one another with respect inside the home.

At some point your kids will be on their own and you have to let them go, but you never stop being a parent, being there to guide them through the next stage.

As Brad neared the close of his message these are words a father or mother might have fo son or daughter. "I gave you life, but I can't live it for you. I can teach you things, but I can't make you learn. I can give you direction, but I can't always be there to lesd you. I can take you to church, but I can't make you believe. I can teach you right from wrong, but I can't always decide for you. I can teach you to share, but I can't make you unselfish. I can advise you on friends, but I can't choose them for you. I can pray for you, but I can't make you walk with God. I can teach you how to live, but I can't give you eternal life."

Kids have free choise. You can't do it for them. Ultimately, you have to give them to God, and pray. We say our prayers in chairs like that.

Brad says that as he's sat in that chair and prayed for God to show him how to be a good dad, it always comes back to Micah 8:6... to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God. It's an adventure that begins in the nursery.

Raising Our Children

"I'm delighted you're here today," Brad warmly exclaimed at the start of today's service, sunshine streaming in the windows.

Announcements today included:

1. Roger DeLoach has published a book called He Calls My Name about the Christian ministry that has been occurring in our local race tracks. A fundraiser will be held at Gethsemane Covenant on Wednesday evening.

2. The building committee has scheduled a meeting for Tuesday the 30th.

3. There will be an August 2nd Open House at the Crestman's after the service. More information coming soon... In the meantime, mark it on your calendars.

4. This week's VBS was wonderful. Thanks were extended to all those who gave of their time to help make it happen.

5. And don't forget next week's fundraiser Rummage Sale next Saturday. Bring your items to donate on Friday... and your wallets on Saturday.

There was an amusing comment made when Paula requested that people bring their favorite Sloppy Joe recipes. Joe Stapleton made this amusing request: "Can't we call them something other than Sloppy Joes?"

Darlene's introit was again meaningful. Familiar lines seeped through the melodious tune... "Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me." After enjoying some video footage from the week's VBS experiences, the offering was taken.

Today's Scripture readings were from I Kings 17:8-16 and Galatians 1:11-24. A hymn followed and Brad took the pulpit to give the message.

Raising Our Children

Today's starting point was Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Brad then shared how it seems we're constantly hearing about advances in genetics so that one day we may have the ability to define our child's traits in advance by genetic engineering. Tongue in cheek, he imagined a future Kids-R-Us Catalog where we make such choices.

The reality is, that as parents we have responsibilities toward our God-given children. Brad spent this morning's time with us outlining four objectives we should strive for as we raise our children.

1) Build strong self-esteem.

Just because building self-esteem became a buzzword in child-rearing manuals these past two decades does not mean it is unimportant. Children need to know that they are valuable, both to God and to their parents.

Brad shared a story about an 8 year old boy who attempted suicide because he did not believe he had value. In fact, he believed he was the source of all his parents' troubles. Strong self-esteem is an important quality for children as they move toward adulthood. They get this through three behaviors which are within our power to give. A word, a look and a touch.

Kids need to hear affirming words. Jesus, when He was baptized, heard these words from the heavens: "This is my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased." Our smiles, our hugs, our affirming words are vital to our children.

2) Build sense of personal confidence.

Confidence is inter-related with competence. As we invest in our children, to learn skills in their areas of interest, they experience the inner satisfaction that competency brings. Whether it be art, music, sports, we as parents can foster confidence within our kids by investing time working with them.

I had many stories come to mind while Brad shared, of my parents investing in me, and our support for our own children's interests. Brad share how his own father taught him important lessons as they did things together. On one occasion, Brad was trying to chop down a tree but it wasn't going well because the axe was a bit dull and the tree a bit hard, so he gave up. Brad's father came over and used this experience as a teaching opportunity. "Brad," he said with his hands on Brad's shoulders, "in the real world you're going to find that almost everything you do is hard. school, athletics, marriage, church work. It's more complicated than you think, just like that tree you're dealing with. You can decide to quit, or find a new, better approach. Son, I'm expecting you figure out a way to get that tree on the ground even if it takes all day."

Brad did put that tree down, but he took a more important lesson away that day.

3) Teach them relationship skills.

One of the bi-products of our increasingly fragmented society is fragmented families. Both adults and children are challenged by the broken relationships and fewer than ever are learning how a healthy relationship works. There is more escapist behavior than ever these days.

There's a standard line that private pilots use when the navigation gets fouled. They say, "I don't know where I am or where I'm going, but I'm getting there at a very high velocity." Many young people are entering adulthood at a very high velocity, but velocity without direction can be a very dangerous thing.

4) Establish Christian values and spiritual foundations.

There's a strange notion that we should raise our children "values free." But school and television are not values free. They tear down the values we hold and replace them with alternates. So the question is, who will impress their values on our children?

We can't disregard or neglect this important truth: parents are the primary influence on their children. Deuteronomy 6:7 says, "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." In other words, every experience shared with children can be a training experience."

Brad then told a story about one occasion in which a man drove by in a very chic Cadillac. Brad commented on how rich the man must be. Brad's dad replied, "That guy owes money to every man in town. He's got creditors lined up 20 deep and they're not getting their money. Yet that man's pride leads him to put on a show, but Brad, it's phony. It's phony to live beyond your means. It doesn't please God to put on an act, to pretend you're something you're not." Brad said that he can still remember the color of that car, and that influenced to this day the way he does personal finance.

The world is a theater through which we have the opportunity to teach God's values.

The world needs children with strong self-esteem, great competency, great relationships and strong spiritual foundations. Let's make a commitment to to turn it up a notch, with God's help.